BLACK IS THE NEW BLACK IS THE NEW BLACK IS THE NEW BLACK.

IN SHORT. I have discovered I really like wearing the colour black.
Now I didn't start off like this. I feel I have just rediscovered black since getting my hair rebleached to as white as it will let me without going bald.
Is it a contrast thing? or more that I have ballooned to a whale that black gives me needed comfort?
Who knows. What I do know though is I seriously LOVE black everything at the moment.
Am I turning into a GOTH but I'm in denial?

Possibly.

On a side note. You know who is a hot goth? Nicholas Cage's son.


LOL. I know. But seriously can you imagine a right freak like Nicholas Cage creating this kid.
Ok you probably can. But this kid called Weston Coppola Cage is 18 years old. (I'm a predator - I like my men young. lolvoms).
But check out the arms on this guy. Hubba Hubba.

I can't sit here and justify why this guy is attractive to me. Keep in mind I like long hair.

Now back to the point.
Having an already studded face doesn't necessarily help me NOT look like a goth, I guess. Oh. And I do have a black cat. Is it a coincidence? or am I going to start practicing black magic in my spare time?
If only.

First someone will have to pry me from my laptop and from the numerous amounts of fashion blogs that are wrecking my life. Ok, really they are filling my life with great fashion inspiration but also showing me clothes I wish I could have but can't afford and they are created by normal girls that are ridiculously stylish and the degree of thin I could never be.

But what I am getting at is - they have helped inspire my new black clothing fetish.
I mean black can be very clean and plain I guess, but not when you're the designer Gareth Pugh.

I'd never seen much of this man's work but initially heard of him from my friend Andrea. We had a good old ROFL at first at how his last name would be pronounced 'poo'.
This may not be the actual case. But look. Andrea and I find farts and the mention of penis' and vaginas funny. So we are bound to laugh at 'pugh/poo'.
I have no words for his designs so let me visually stimulate you.








YEEEOOWWW.
I need me some of these shredded to shit jeans, fur oversized shoulder pad capes, PLATFORM buckle heels and geometric jackets.
Oh and my love of whack items doesn't end there.
Here I insert another designer love of mine - DANIEL PALILLO.
Now not only do I love black clothes recently. I've become a bit of a monotone george and prefer black, white and grey.
Boring it seems I know. But I just so wholeheartedly don't agree. These colours or lack there of, are just classic.
They match everything. You pretty much can't go wrong.

But what Daniel Palillo does is use just the right amount of colour.
His designs are usually black and white which suits me just fine and more importantly what makes his designs amazing is everything is OVERSIZED to the point where you can't believe people of a normal size can wear and pull off his look.




Appropriately for my whale self his designs would probably be a tight sausage skin on me, but regardless if I could get my filthy mits on his goods I would be in LITERAL heaven.

Let's not get started on his recent design collaboration to make accessories. I DEFINITELY MUST HAVE THIS.

long chain hand necklaces. ftw.

I am definitely gonna pass out now. I hope I have sent you all into black clothing overload. Let alone experienced the amount of pain I feel when realising I don't own these items.
Now you have had a slight glimpse of what it's like to be me everyday.
Not a pretty sight is it.

BLEACH BLACK

Ah yes. Bleach Black is not only the name of my favourite fashion blog of the moment, it is also appropriate to my life today as I am FINALLY getting my regrowth done. Yes. My feral 5km of black regrowth will today succumb to being bleached for approximately 59 years in order for me to fulfil my need of having white blonde hair.

More appropriate is one of the girls Bleach Black has the whitest hair imaginable. And of course I clearly have made her my muse as now it is a definite must for me to have the whitest hair I can possibly achieve without my hair falling out. Good luck to me - really.


What the real purpose of sharing with you the Bleach Black blog was to voice my concern about how many fashion blogs there are.
I love fashion blogs. Sadly enough I can sit on the computer for hours just going through fashion blogs - all the pictures of clothes I could never have/all the clothing ensembles I could never pull off. Depressing really.
But my point is - how will I possibly ever catch up??? There are new blog posts all the time, and I'm just discovering these blogs but I want to look at all the past posts as well.
I feel overwhelmed by the amount of catching up I'll literally need to do to keep up.
Plus its not that you just follow the one blog. You might like one, that lists their favourites, then you go to those, then they link you to more of their favourites. In reality you just get linked to about 79 million sites you will never get to properly follow let alone actually bother to visit.

So in class we learnt bout blog lines or APIs - WOW over my head - but signing up for one more extra site to link the sites you follow, to get updates like rss feeds. I mean I have signed up to so many sites this week I can't even keep track let alone remember what half were - twitter, some google rss reader, bloglines.
My brain is literally wanting to explode but unfortunately my fat head won't let it and so here I am left in utter confusion. As my friend Ana said the other day, "I have glaucoma of the brain."
(Seriously click on the glaucoma link. I tell you. It's well worth it)

Chris Tucker: "you better have glaucoma"
Ciga-weed man: "i do."

If anyone can explain all of this stuff to me in very slow, simple english - then please do. As its just an overload of too much for me.
I mean what is so wrong with plain old bookmarking a site?

On a side note - just today I signed up for bloglovin' as all the fashion blogs I seem to visit ask you to follow them using that particular site.
I figured why not. I've signed up for this week that one more won't make a difference, I guess.
Also it seems v. easy for me to use. You just search up the title of a blog and it comes back with the search results then you press follow. EASY.

Urgh. What a boring ugly post. MORE PICTURES I TELL YOU.
I'm a pictures kind of gal.
I'll keep this in mind for my next post.

NATHAN FOLLOWILL. HUSBAND WORTHY MATERIAL.

Whoops. I missed the post for last week. Am I gonna be in trouble?
Probably. But I promise i'll make up for it right now.
This past weekend being Saturday the 21st I went to see Kings of Leon with my bro in Sydney.
Not like "sick one bro" I mean my literal brother.
Now regardless if you love or hate Kings, there is a very good reason to love them.

ATTENTION FEMALES AND GAYS.

How can you have possibly looked past Nathan Followill?? Better known as the Kings of Leon's drummer.
So I am biased. I do love a man with long hair, stoner eyes and glasses. I mean better yet he used to have a full blown heavy BEARD.





I could just EXPLODE from the sheer excitement of it all.
So without further time wastage I present to you my husband.
BTW I DO NOT APOLOGISE AT ALL FOR POSTING COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF PHOTOS OF THIS MAN.















Ok. So the initial plan was I was meant to fling myself from my seats (urgh missed general admission) towards the stage and squash Nathan - I mean if I can't have him then why should anyone else get the privilege right?
Then I decided...PSYCHO. So instead I just stalked him backstage, cut off some of his luscious locks and sniff them regularly/sleep with them under my pillow.
LOLVOMS. Clearly I'm kidding. But jokes aside. Kings of Leon were v. good. So, I was too far to see Nathan properly with my own eyeballs but the zoomed in pictures on the display screens of his muscular tattooed arms/long hair and delicious chest covered by just a vest made the night all the more worth while.
Oh my. I may just pass out from reminiscing. W O W.

Clearly Nate giving the thumbs up to the winner blog entry.

VIVIENNE WESTWOOD.

I love this haggard old punk. It's just a term of endearment - I promise. I truly do LOVE Vivienne Westwood.
Why? Let me explain visually.




Ok. I just laughed out loud. Look at her. How can I possibly write when I want to explode from excitement.
She is clearly a crazy old woman. She thankfully is in her own ad campaigns, she has unruly, english punk hair.
And most importantly she is a PUNK. An OLD PUNK.
I can only hope to suffer a early-life crisis at the age of 23 and magically wake up, decide to dye my hair bright orange, draw on my eyebrows and be an internationally known fashion designer. A bitch can dream.

Honestly though I know Vivienne Westwood MUST be the famous, older, white version of me because look at this creation of hers which truly at some stage in my life - hopefully when I'm 60 and can use my pension to purchase them - I WILL own.

I KNOW. These are my ultimate shoes. They are MF STUDDED. I know the height looks a bit elaborate.
But as is appropriate when they are designed by Vivienne Westwood.
You may remember that notorious picture of Naomi Campbell fallen over on the catwalk in those RIDICULOUSLY sized heels.


Yep. They were Vivienne Westwood heels.
[Notice how I subtly avoided addressing the crotch shot. I'm a very classy lady.]

Some of you may not know I started this blog because I had to for a Network Media Production class.
CLEARLY I am enjoying it, but I have somehow avoided talking about anything relevant to the class altogether.
This changes now as I go off on a tangent and explain my complete and utter love of the internet and fashion blogs.
If these didn't exist I don't know how I would have seen and been able to share these amazing vintage images of Vivienne Westwood in her PUNK PRIME.


The deal is Vivienne Westwood was as provocative THEN as she is NOW. God Bless Her.
Back in the 70s with her then-husband - Malcolm McLaren - she opened a boutique called SEX.
In which they would stock t-shirts with nude prints and general racey items that only a punk rocker couple would.

HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE HER.

Now in class we have currently been learning about blogs and blogging communities, their popularity etc.
Yes. I learnt there are a shit load. I never thought much about them and I don't know how as I find myself reading blogs all the time.
I mean some of the only sites I visit regularly are blogs despite not having "blog" in the web address they are quite obviously regularly updated celebrity blogs - I'm talking What Would Tyler Durden Do + Go Fug Yourself.

The point I'm trying to get at is blogs aren't as painfully nerdy and unneccessary as I initially thought.
Ok. When people are really serious and use it like an online diary [vomit] I must admit it makes me cringe. But thats just me.
But people can and DO make a living off this.
Don't believe me - think of that hideous gay Perez Hilton. He should be famous mind you - he is HILARIOUS and his paint skills are surpassable by none.
The thing is you can get a laugh and view info or see images you wouldn't get to otherwise.
I guess its the just luck of stumbling across a blog you like or find helpful. And then you can rip photos and info from them and make your own blog.
Like me. SUCKERS. No. Give credit where its due.
Thanks GOOGLE.

And of course this post would not be complete without a quote from the woman herself.

"I was the first person to have a punk rock hairstyle." - Vivienne Westwood.

I believe you Viv. I believe you. [Note the devil horns in her hair. God. I really do LOVE this woman]

METALLI-FUCKIN-CA

Is it too much to ask that a girl be able to have a vintage Metallica tshirt stay intact?
It seems it IS.
My painful need for one has only increased as of today when I witnessed possibly the greatest image of all time.


Metal heads and Metallica shirts. Yes. Terry Richardson is my hero.
I wish I had the capability to candidly capture people and make them look amazing and drugged out.
Instead I'm one to take a digital camera out one night, forget to take more than 5 photos and then go through the next day and delete the 4 candid shots of me and my double chin.
But back to the serious issues. That being that I NEED a Metallica tshirt STAT.

Let me take you into my past. A life where I once owned, well still do own the tshirt of my dreams.
Only after a few months of ownage, seeing this immaculate piece of vintage goodness return to me from the washing machine as some bleached out piece of shit.
And I'm not talking the great love of acid wash. I'm talking spots where I look like I was devouring bleach as a snack and decided to dribble it randomly on the collar SLASH chest area of my shirt.


What can be seen of the shirt above on myself as a herpes whore, is the affected area in question.

And my constant search for a replacement via my favouritely OCD checked website Ebay, has ended in fake tears.
So I have resorted to creative thinking. LIES. sheer and utter desperation that I have decided my all new love of studs will save my shirt.
YES. I have decided to stud the shit out of the chest area and cover these acid drool marks.
AND in true fashion I could not mention such an epic winner of an idea without showing you what I mean by

MUTHAFUCKIN STUDS.

LINDSAY LOHAN IS A JUNKIE.

Sorry. Just dreaming aloud. My friend Ana converted me to the Lohan.
I always had an innate hate of this warthog but my heart has done a 360 and now its true love.
Worthy of one of these. <3
If Lindsay just chucked a complete Amy Winehouse, I could safely say I could die a happy 23 year old.
I guess I can't not give her credit for trying. I mean she is halfway being anorexic-thin with huge titties to match. That and she is in a lesbian phase. God love this hair extensioned bitch.




She makes me want to enjoy a full days meal of a 6 pack of red bull and 3 packets of cigarettes.
Oh, and I just discovered Kanye West is dating this ho. Amber Rose.
I know. I don't think this bitch could have purchased a more tackier name if it were enclosed in a perfume bottle with butterflies all over it and created by Mariah Carey.


However is it possible to hate and love something at the same time? I mean its like Pete Wentz being a proud midgey all over again.
Good on her skank ass. Those red melted cellophane pants SLASH spray painted nail polish jeans are so tight I applaud her for avoiding camel toe.
And whilst on the subject of Kanye West and his featured accessories. What about this abomination he calls hair?


It's more of a toned down Lionel Richie, no?


But whatever look he was aiming for he clearly failed. I mean EPIC FAILED.
And I am appropriately using epic fail here, as I will prove with Urban Dictionary.

"Epic Fail - A mistake of such monumental proportions that it requires its own term in order to successfully point out the unfathomable shortcomings of an individual or group."

I'm sorry for those that love him.
I lie. I'm not. But believe me I'm one of you.
No. Its not even really music related. More that he loves himself so much I'm sure if Kanye could procreate with himself he would. And who doesn't enjoy a bit of asexual breeding every now and again?